I’m continuing to document our learning and progress for week 2 of the Self Reliance course I’m taking through my Church. It lays a great foundation of financial knowledge and is faith based.

Becoming Unified in Our Approach to Finances

The start of each lesson has everyone report on their commitments through the week. We had tracked all income and expenses each day, prayed about our finances, read some suggested materials, and checked in with action partners during the week.

The bulk of the lesson was focused on faith in Jesus Christ. We discussed how the Sabbath Day has blessings associated with prosperity as recorded in the book of Isaiah. Tithing was also discussed. In Malachi 3:10-11, God, boldly challenges to His people and see if we can get a blessing from paying our tithing. There aren’t any other commandments challenged so confidently. If we pay our tithing (10% of our income), then the fruit of our labor will not be spoiled, or for nothing.

Work and Responsibility

In Genesis, Adam is told that by the sweat of his brow, he shall eat bread. I’ve often pondered this, and this is often a point of confusion for the Internet Retirement Police. The FIRE movement seems to be placing more emphasis on the Financial Independence part than the Retire Early part. I’m definitely of the same mind and want to reach FI so I can start a more interesting career. I work in IT, and I enjoy it, but I think I would rather do a trade, something blue collar. I believe work is a good thing, and I don’t plan on being lazy when I “retire.”

We also talked about eliminating reliance on others, whether it be family, friends, church welfare programs, or government assistance. We discussed how some people have an entitlement mentality. Entitlement is feeling that you deserve something without taking the action required to get it. It is the opposite of responsibility. The farther removed someone is from the help they receive, the less grateful they are for the assistance.

unity in finance
The order of responsibility for finances

Finance in Marriage

When we are careless with finances, it can distress a relationship with a spouse. Blame, distrust and anger can occur. When there is transparency, a unified goal and good stewardship, there is greater peace and harmony at home. This can be challenging to achieve as everyone comes form a different culture and background. It’s important to remember that as a couple, you need to be on the same team. When starting a marriage, try to align goals and devise a framework laying out how finances will be handled and how those goals will be met.

Management of family finances should be mutual between husband and wife in an attitude of openness and trust. Control of the money by one spouse as a source of power and authority causes inequality in the marriage and is inappropriate. Conversely, if a marriage partner voluntarily removes himself or herself entirely from family financial management, that is an abdication of necessary responsibility.

Marvin J. Ashton

When my wife and I got engaged, we had a discussion about money soon afterwards. We disclosed all of our financial details, and luckily neither of us had made any serious money mistakes and had been fairly wise in our choices. I asked my fiancée what her credit score was, and she had no clue. I had her download the Credit Karma app to find out, and showed her my credit score. We still show each other our scores on a regular basis so we can be sure that we don’t go behind each others back on anything.

Family Councils

Finally, we talked about having family councils. A regular executive family council between spouses is a great setting to discuss financial matters. We committed to hold one this week, though we have done many informal ones. We have decided to scale back daily financial talks, as I have a tendency to go over plans and goals on a daily basis, and my wife gets sick of it sometimes. Going forward we will implement a end of month family council and discuss progress, goals and challenges.

Conclusion

Overall there is a great feeling in the group and we’ve been able to help each other by sharing resources and different perspectives. It is nice having a forum available to discuss how to go about finances and support one another. We’re excited to become more unified in our approach to finance.


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