I’m the father of a very active 3 year old and a 6 month old. It’s always exciting watching them grow and try new things. I am excited for the younger one to start crawling and walking. I couldn’t wait for my firstborn to start moving, jumping, running and climbing. It’s so rewarding to see them learn and try to master their environment. Learning to focus and pay attention will help them immensely as they grow and develop.
One of the most common things I hear parents tell their children is to “Be careful.” You may have just read that oft repeated phrase in your parents voice. It’s ingrained into many of us year after year. Most kids are constantly pushing their limits (and that of their parents). It leads to a lot of bumps and bruises, but that’s just life.
Many people have have commented to my wife and I that we are some of the most relaxed first-time parents they’ve seen. Most folks have a tendency to baby their babies. It seems natural. There is some room for this, but life isn’t meant to be perfectly comfortable all the time.
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Bad Advice?
Don’t get me wrong, telling your kids to be careful definitely has a time and place. I tell my kids to be careful when we are in a parking lot or when they are in an otherwise “real danger” situation. For the most part I think telling kids to be careful is just plain bad advice. I have made it a point to tell my kids to “focus” and “pay attention.“
The phrase “be careful” has a negative and fearful connotation. It’s nearly equal with saying “stop it, don’t do that.” We are telling this to our kids over and over when they try to balance on the curb, climb at the park, or jump off a stool. When used too much, it stifles kids learning and exploration.
Instill Confidence
On the other hand, telling your child to “focus” instills confidence. Advising them to “pay attention” may be the boost of confidence they need to avoid face-planting as they jump from one rock to the next. They might be climbing higher than they ever have before, riding (and jumping) their bike faster than ever, or some other equivalent act of exploration. If they succeed, they will feel a great rush of accomplishment. If they fail, they might get a scrape, but true to a kid’s nature, will get up and try again. I think these “risky” activities should be encouraged. We want our kids to have self confidence in themselves, and we ought not to undermine it all the time.
It might sound weird that these are my go-to parenting phrases, even before my kids had uttered their first word or could even begin to comprehend them. That’s the point, it’s now a habit and I hope it’s the voice in their head as they grow. Most rewards don’t come without some degree of risk.
Confidence As They Grow
As children age and take on more responsibility, especially jobs in high school and college, they should be taught to save, give and invest. It is disturbing to me that most of my peers are missing out in a big way on the most powerful wealth building opportunity: The stock market.
Some surveys show that as much as 80% of Millennial’s are not investing in the stock market. The majority chalk this up to not having enough money, which is a decent excuse, but not far behind that the fact that people my age “don’t know how.”
Sitting On the Sidelines
Another survey delves into Millennial’s investing habits and they aren’t good:
– 42% of Millennials are investing conservatively, compared with 38% of Generation X investors and 23% of baby boomers, according to the Fidelity survey.
Forbes
– Millennials held 25% of their investments in cash, compared to 19% of investors overall, according to a Charles Schwab & Co. study of client data.
– 20% of Millennials say their retirement money is invested mostly in bonds, money market funds, cash or other stable investments, compared with 15% each for older generations, according to Transamerica.
– 66% of people aged 18 to 29 (and 65% of those 30 to 39) say investing in the stock market is scary or intimidating, compared with 58% of those aged 40 to 54 and 57% of those 55 and older, according to an Ally Financial survey.
I can’t say for sure what the correlation is between a parent cautioning their kid to “be careful” and that person avoiding the stock market, or investing too conservatively. Conversely, my telling my kids to “focus” on the risks they are taking is not indicative of how they will invest later in life. Obviously much of my generation grew up in the middle of the Great Recession and observed their parents struggle, lose jobs, and houses. All the while many of us were going through school worrying about being able to get a job and decent pay at all. But in the age of participation trophies, why take a risk and push yourself at all to succeed. I think some of these underlying parenting techniques and teachings pervaded far deeper than we realize.
Once again, it’s time to break from traditional society and go the other way. Take a risk! And let your kids take risks too!
Time is On Your Side
The good news is millennial’s are still pretty young in general, but they need to learn to take some risks. I recommend my peers to read up on Warren Buffett. He is a great “value investor” and is very risk averse. His natural optimism, catchy phrases and timeless lessons can help get Millennial’s on track. One would do well to spend just an hour studying his advice, some of which is very specific. America is a great wealth building machine, despite all the issues we face. The stock market hasn’t let anyone down in the long term.
The best time to go broke and take a risk is when you’re young, because you have plenty of time to recover. This is something my father told me many a time in my late teens. It gave me confidence to take risks, like selling pest control door to door. When I told my Dad this was my plan for the summer, he thought I was insane (pest control isn’t a big thing out West). Over the course of my 5 months on the doors, I averaged $53 an hour while working 50+ hours a week.
Conclusion
Take some risk. Invest. Let your kids take risks, if you have them. Instill confidence in them, and build your own confidence. You control your destiny. Decide what you want and focus. Don’t let money happen to you, happen to your money. Pay attention to it and make it do what you want it to.
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